Sometimes when I talk with someone who is not familiar with active listening, I get frustrated.  The other person interrupts me when I’m talking, begins talking about himself, makes assumptions, makes judgments about me, offers unsolicited advice, is distracted, or changes the subject.  Listening is not about fixing someone, defending, analyzing, or avoiding uncomfortable subjects.  Listening is about assisting someone in exploring and discovering things for themselves.  Most listening means paying attention, trying to understand, being quiet, nodding and saying “uh-huh”, and occasionally responding with affirmations of feelings and summaries of what the person is talking about.  Rarely one would ask questions or make observations, and for this the listener might ask permission first.
    
Mirroring means repeating what you heard someone say so that the listener is clear about what was said and so that the speaker feels heard.  Try this with a partner.  Sit across from each other and decide who will speak first.  The listener will stay quiet, listen attentively, maintain eye contact, and ask questions only for clarification.  The speaker will talk for five minutes about the past week (or a topic of your choosing) and focus on feeling words.  At the end of five minutes the listener will speak for about a minute, summing up what he or she heard and focusing on feeling words.  The listener is not to make judgments or offer advice, though feelings might be inferred.  The speaker can clarify anything the listener missed.  Then the partners switch roles and repeat.  You may find a deep relief in just being heard without judgment.