In the men’s group I belonged to down in New Orleans, George Montero is “the” elder.  When George blesses me, I feel peace, love, and gratitude, I feel more solid and centered, and I see my life as a gift to the world.  At first, I fought blessings, trying to give the blessings back as quickly as possible, thanking the person profusely, or finding all the faults they obviously missed.  After a lifetime with few blessings, I found it difficult to feel deserving, to be open to the blessing.  There’s also a danger in the blessing, in that the person being blessed might try to do all the right things to get blessed again, when really anyone deserves a blessing just for being born.  The better blessing focuses not on things that a person does, but on the person’s personality.   Better still, the blessing happens without words, with eye contact and laying of the hands.  In giving blessings, I’ve again found myself wanting the other person to like me, and wanting myself to feel magnanimous.  I felt a lack of genuineness from myself in these blessings.  Still, I’ve seen these blessings received with much feeling, and the more I practiced blessing, the easier it became to bless from a place of genuineness and love.  When we truly bless others, we simultaneously bless ourselves, and love seems to pulsate through us both.  
    
Einstein said that we can view the world two ways, as if nothing is a miracle, or as if everything is a miracle.  Many, unfortunately, view everything as a pain or as messed up.  I used to be one of them.  I grew up with criticism, so I wound up being intensely self-critical and critical of others.  I could attend a beautiful church service and focus on the few seconds when the pianist missed some notes.  I could miss out on a beautiful experience in nature because it wasn’t exactly what I expected.  Life was hardly worth living when everything and everyone was so ugly.  I’m grateful to my wife, Rebecca, for pointing out this criticism for me, and asking me to see beauty instead.  It was difficult at first.  I started out by listing positive traits of people I disliked.  I made affirmations to myself to “See beauty in everyone and everything.”  These helped.  Most important, perhaps, was seeing beauty in myself and in what I did.  I did the best I could, and that was good enough.  I made mistakes, as everyone does, but what I created had beauty and value.  Today, I still struggle with criticism, but I see beauty more often.

It’s easy to bless if we can see beauty everywhere.  The most important blessing is the one given to ourselves.  Here is a blessing I give to myself sometimes.  I start with a Native American prayer that I’ve modified, and then I expand the sentiments from each part.

I walk in beauty.  Beauty is behind me.  Beauty is before me.  Beauty is on my right, and on my left.  Beauty is above me.  Beauty is below me.  Beauty is within me.  Beauty is all around me.  I walk in beauty.

I walk in beauty.  Beauty is behind me, in my ancestors that bless me, in everything that’s happened in my life to bring me to this place.

Beauty is before me, in my progeny and my legacy, in all of my decisions and whatever will come to me.

Beauty is on my right and on my left, in my brothers and sisters that stand with me, in my girlfriend, in the four-leggeds and trees, in everything that is now, in all my relations.

Beauty is above me, in the birds, clouds, the rain, the stars, the universe, god, the masculine creative energies.

Beauty is below me, in the rock and dirt, the grass and flowers, the ants and fish, the deep sea, the feminine nurturing, the mystery, the unknown, the dark places.

Beauty is within me, in the place of everything and nothing, the paradox, the center place.  I am powerful and beautiful.  I am a gift to the world.  I am love.  

Beauty is all around me, behind me and before me, on my right and on my left, above me and below me, and within me.  I walk in beauty.  

Another way of giving love, and thus blessing and receiving a blessing, is to be of service.  Practicing service moves us outside of ourselves and makes our actions a holy offering.  A simple act, such as washing dishes for others, becomes an act of love and enriches life.  We should, however, be careful not to serve so that people will like us, or sacrifice ourselves for the benefit of others.  We deserve to take care of ourselves first, and we’re better able to serve when we’re taken care of first.  The best way to serve selflessly, and thus to be truly blessed by the experience, is to serve anonymously.  Anonymity means not only that those served don’t know who you are, but that you never tell anyone about the gift.